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Be a Man, Say NO to Dowry!!!

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Written by Swapnil

“When a woman is sold. It’s called Prostitution and when a man is sold its called Dowry”

The above mentioned quote grabbed my attention couple of days back on internet. Alas! People read, appreciate and forget. The society if full of pain, the pain that never diminishes rather it blooms. With extreme pain and agony I’m writing it today, with a hope that at least somebody someday will listen to it and will understand what she is going through in her life. This article is based on a real incidence and on actual facts. My friend Sarika (modified name) is 30 years of age now. She got married on 7th November 2005 when she was only 18. Her parents married her with a hope that their daughter will lead a happy married life, as the family who approached for her hand was well educated. Sarika is extremely beautiful and anyone can drool over her exquisite beauty. She is only 18, her ravishing skin, long hair, innocent face can win millions of hearts. So… what’s the big deal if she is liked by a class 1 officer from railways, but for society and relatives that was a big deal? The Father of the groom was on a higher post in PWD, the groom was an IES officer deputed in railways. His two sisters out of which 1 is working in Delhi under Obs & Gyne department and another sister is a PhD from ICG collage Jaipur working as an Assistant professor at MJRP University Jaipur.

Soon after her marriage she started facing several issues where she was beaten to pulp for not fulfilling more demands of dowry and when the demands of in-laws did not get fulfilled, she was thrown out of the house due to which she went back to her parents. The innocent teenager was unable to sustain the pain and torture given by his family and also by the society. After throwing her out of their home they tricked her and filed a case against her under section 9 of Hindu Marriage act. She is still undergoing the litigation which she filed in 2006 under family violence act, ¾ DP act, 498a etc.

The blooming years of her age were spent in court rooms which is still going on. Every eye in court looked at her, gave her a feeling, as if she was a culprit of raising her voice against violence. The lawyers, the people, the voices killed a teenager then. She wanted to commit suicide. At such tender age when her parents pampered her to core since birth, she was beaten to pulp, abused regularly, tortured mentally, for just saying “No” to the demands her in-laws forced.  Why & how should she even ask for more money after marriage from her parents? Her parents spent 20 lac in 2005 in her wedding, how much more someone can spend? And WHY??? She attended almost every date in the court but The Big man and so called Class 1 officer was kept safe by his department and he attended only few dates in these 11 years of litigation.

Meanwhile her parents gave her good education and she started working in a very good consultancy firm earning her livelihood and stood independent with continuous boosting by her parents. Underwent sever depressions and no interest in living life, her parents gave her hope to live and fight back. The days went and her case became stronger and then her husband came and apologised for all his wrong activities. She believed him and took a risk. Left her job and settled with him again. Within a month’s time he again started the psychopathic activities and beaten her to death and then she was helped by local police and a senior IAS officer, the person whom she blesses each day. Her husband went behind the bars for more than 48 hours but still his department saved him and did not suspend him.

Few months later, she lost her mother. More than her family, she collapsed looking at the pain her family was going through. Whom should she blame, shall she blame flexible judicial system, shall she blame supportive department of a culprit, shall she blame her fate, shall she blame being a girl, whom shall she blame? She was in depression for months after her mother left her. Shall she cry on her father’s shoulder or shall she be his backbone as he (father) lost his companion of life?

All the problems in her life started from dowry. The agony is that we want to live in dowry free world but we never initiate from not taking the gifts or money given in the weddings. The better job you get the more openly you can evaluate your worth by money. On top of it if you are a government servant and serving as class 1 officer than sky is the limit.

Is this money going to make them rich? Is this money going to give them happiness? Will this give them a better status in the society? What does it give? For me it only gives fake identity, fake status, fake happiness, fake satisfaction and fake peace.

Kudos to the people who demand money for living a happy married life by torturing others. Its sheer corruption on which no one is focusing. The new government has law fight on triple talak. What are they doing about the numerous dowry cases getting registered daily in district courts and high courts?

Government should intervene and pass the orders to expedite and conclude the litigation pending in districts court since ages. There should be a definite timeline to dispose off the case. Why can’t we all bring change and say NO to marriage the moment a single demand of dowry arises.

Please stop Dowry. Save lives. Stay Happy

 

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About the author

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Swapnil

Swapnil has interest to travel and inclination towards good food has increased her temptation for writing blogs and sharing her thoughts. Through her blogs she wants to share her experiences about several beautiful places and the variety of food available in the world. She wants to explore by visiting different places and reading several articles. Swapnil is indulged in social works, she wants to bring change in field of education and health through her blogs and in depth ground approach in the field. Her interest lies in reading, writing, singing, automobile, social works, swimming, cooking and photography.

11 Comments

  • Really nice article from the author… though the example of Sarika is heart wrenching but yes this is the truth …real truth of our society where still on the birth of daughter they are seen as burden…we (youth) have to change it…Plz say NO to dowry …I have said NO …you too

    • Thanks Amit. Really appreciate youth to thing in the same way and I’m elated that you said NO. That’s what will make a difference. Every NO counts as we are the people who will be guiding our next generation 🙂

      Keep it up. Keep visiting us 🙂

  • Heart toching
    Im highly impressed with your article
    Raise your voice against that shit.
    cheap peoples they are educated but
    Behave like fool.

    • Thank you so much. We are change. We shall stand for our rights 🙂
      Thank you so much for the valuable time given to the article. Please keep visiting us 🙂

    • Yes indeed Kunal, its the never ending greed. We all shall stop this.

      Thanks for your valuable comment 🙂
      Keep showering your support.

  • Author has come out with heart wrenching story, I hope need to look upon key reson for this practice. Society is more responsible than any Government. Highly qualified families and persons are involving and justifying these deeds. One of my relative is high class police officer, justifies dowry every now and then. So, laws are there, but executors are violating them.

    It has to start from individual home, from female members of home. Solutions may be like this.
    1) Girls who got married in 80’s and 90′ are mothers now, and their parents had this pain. Still, they wish to get jewellery and others assets, in their son’s marriage.
    Mothers (mostly) treat daughters as second class child, than sons (in general), which they hated in their own childhood. Mothers need to stand for daughters, and tell society they are not second gender.

    2) More and more, educated youth, who have got some position or power. They need to first discuss, convince and fight to their family against dowry (family becomes excuse and guys come out clean). Guys with position can become exemplary and start new trend.

    3) Mothers need to teach their sons that, sisters and other ladies are not second class gender (This point actually is most important).
    Long discussion can go ahead. Support author’s concern.

    • Dear Saurabh,

      Your reply is really valuable and i appreciate that you have given this article good amount of time and shared your opinion in detail. The in-depth approach is what is needed in life rather than the focusing on short term benefits and ego satisfactory approach to show people where you stand and how much a son is evaluated through the money of bride’s parents.

      Indeed a change will be from within. As you quoted an example of a mother, If the mother of a groom is inclined towards dowry, the Son shall bring the change and be the influencer and not accept or appreciate this activity. We can not blame One single person as there are multiple factors involved and this can be achieved only through convergence.

      Highly appreciate your comment. Please keep coming 🙂

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