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Dear diary…

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Dear diary,

I am gay. Yes, you read it right, I know it’s little weird to believe but I am gay. Today I stepped out of my home in months, you know I was in depression, so yeah….. I went out and my neighbours were staring at me and even smiling.

So, after months of depression and unacceptance I thought “enough is enough and it shall end now”. So, today I finally accepted who am I and now it doesn’t matter to me that whether others are accepting me the way I m or not? Now I completely love the way I am and I am not scared of the society or even myself.

It was a big deal to accept oneself when everyone else took me otherwise, when they looked at me with disgust. I blamed myself for all this, for being the way I am. Suicide! Yes it tempted me, I wanted it to end once and for all and just be free. But I never had the courage to go beyond cutting my wrist when it was just a slit……that too not a deep one.
Now I am happy that it wasn’t deep. Depression was worst. But it gave me a chance to be alive again. Suicide wouldn’t have given me that. These burn marks won’t matter to me now. They are a part of me. And I have accept it.

Wait. What? You thought I was gay??? The gay gay? Nooo. I meant I was cheerful. To go out. My neighbours smiled at me because they saw my courage. They were smiling because they have seen me suffer, and so were happy that it was over. And for all the time you thought I was a Gay. Well, are gays gay? I mean are gays cheerful and happy in this society? Where they aren’t even accepted whole heartedly.

That’s weird.

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About the author

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Shubhangana Singh

Shubhangana Singh is a Literature student who loves to sketch, paint and sleep. Ambidextrous and a short story writer who loves endings with a twist. Avid English literature reader and currently trying her hands at reading Italian novels as well.
Due to her immense penchant towards reading and writing she has started reviewing the books and novels she has read for clear and crisp understanding for her readers.

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